Today I begin a new series of blogs. Typically I'm analyzing some problem, and showing how differences in communication between men and women led to such, or I'm explaining the basis on which men and women make decisions and why they sometimes work and sometimes don't. Usually I have a solution of grandeur. In these next blogs all I will do is give a profile, like the behavioral analysis unit of the FBI (think criminal minds). My only solution would be to spot it and run. Not everything can be fixed, and even if it can, most of us don't have that type of time. Here goes.....

Today's profile will be called 'the invoicer'. Yes I did make up that term. Merriam-Webster defines the term 'invoice' as an itemized list of goods shipped usually specifying the price and the terms of sale. The term is used interchangeable with the term 'bill'.  Merriam-Webster also provided two examples in which the word was used. 1) Payment is due within 30 days after receipt of the invoice. 2) The invoice stated that we owed . The invoicer, does just that, they give you a ton of services under the premise that they're being a good friend or a person and don't expect anything in return, play the guilt card or mean card if you try to deny them from doing x,y,z non-requested services, then once they're in, they hit you with the bill, asking you to do things in return of that caliber or demanding a friendship or relationship. They are the worst type of business person. With the car salesman and telemarketer, you know from jump they're trying to sell you something and get your money/time. There's no surprise ambush. With the magazine salesman, they'll give you the product for a month or two, the full product, then if you like it, you can subscribe. With the workout machine or vacuum salesman, you can request the product, try it, then as long as you send it back within a certain amount of days, you have no further obligation. Even the grocery store guy, gives you a small non-full version of a food, aka a free sample, with the hope you'll get hooked and buy. With all these methods you see it coming, with the invoicer, not so much.

The invoicer is in a much better position than any of the other business types. Why? Because they're able to see your friends and family and thus use them as pawns as well in their game. They pick vulnerable points in which assistance or help would typically make sense and make that their entry point. For example, let's say you get in a car accident and have to go to the hospital or are having a baby.. The invoicer has been scoping you for a minute, so please believe their radar was the first to go off and find out. Now even though you all aren't family, you have your own family, and yall aren't dating and may not even be friends, they show up to the hospital. They stay around the clock, more hours than your own family. Every opportunity they have to do something, they take. They're trying to answer questions to the nurses, ordering your food from the kitchen, answering you telephone, telling visitors to come back so you can rest. All things that to outside people look helpful, but in your mind you're like somebody come and get this person. When you ask them to leave and give you peace, they get offended, thus making you change your mind and allow them to stay. Either that or they run to a family member or friend, and say you were being mean to them when all they were trying to do is help, then you look like a jerk, and thus have to end up letting them remain. When it's all said and done and you're recovered, they hit you with the 'I think we should be together' line. Then when you say no, they hit you with the 'I was there for you during your hard times like nobody else was'. When you say no again, they run to your friends, but by this time the story is 'he led me on thinking we were dating or in a relationship, I would not have done all these things if I had known he was just using me and wasn't interested'. Thus your character will either be destroyed or you'll give in. Perhaps your one or two close friends will know that the person is looney tunes but the public front will need some serious PR.

Sometimes it's not even that heavy caliber. Sometimes it's as simple as a a person losing their job. The invoicer works their long day at work, then drives through traffic to grocery shop, then drives to your house to slave over a hot stove to cook you dinner. In reality, that was their choice, they did it because they wanted to see you. Plus they know when the story is told, it's going to make you look bad and them like the hero. You were screwed from the jump. You didn't ask them to come over, and once they bought grocery and showed all the way to your house, you were in a tough position to tell them no. You eat, then they want to stay even though you want them to go. What do they do? Give up some ass. Right, because we all have turned away free ass and a free meal -_-. Once it's over, you could put them out, but that's just one more weapon for them. They throw the no girl wants to have sex just to be put out routine. Finally they hit you with the relationship question. You say no, then the public told story is, you worked all day, drove to the store in traffic, fought grocery lines, slaved over a hot stove, and slept with him because he led you on thinking there was something more, and you deceived her. BAIT. HOOKED TRAPPED. Part of me wants to say this is why hoes be winning, but that's inappropriate so I take it back.

Here's the key part. Let's all remember nobody does anything for free. The closest to it, is your mother, which even then may be 50% because what she gets out of raising and doing for her child is the feeling she did something parental, that your accomplishments were because of her, and at the very least, she's getting an oxytocin hit from all those maternal things, equivalent to the same oxytocin hit she'd get during orgasm. (Sorry I just made you think about your mom having one, my bad shawty).  The point is, there's no way to beat the invoicer, all you can do is see it coming, and refuse them early as possible, to sustain the least amount of public image damage. If all else fails, call your die hard homeboy or homegirl to come and toss this person out for you. Get someone else to do your dirty work, lol.